Preference jokes
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
I like peanut butter and honey.
Memes
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
I like mangoes.
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”