Preference jokes

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.

Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

I like peanut butter and honey.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

Why don't gays shop at sports authority?

They prefer Dick's.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

Quote of the day:

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

What's an emo's favorite time of year?

Fall.

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.