Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Preference Jokes
I like ramen. If you do, like!
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
I sit because I can't stand you.
What is a good night for you?
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
I hate noise.
I love my name.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
