Preference jokes

I like mangoes.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

I like ramen. If you do, like!

I hate noise.

What is a good night for you?

I love my name.

Why don't gays shop at sports authority?

They prefer Dick's.

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

What's an emo's favorite time of year?

Fall.

I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.

I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.

What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.