Politics jokes

There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.

In Soviet Russia,

You love Chinese and hate Chinese.

Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.

At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.

Biden

I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.

What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?

Your next door grumpy old neighbor.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

"Jingle bells, Osama smells."

Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?

Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Hitler walked so Kim can run.

Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.

What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.

Why is the Pentagon mad?

Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.

Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.