Politics jokes
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.
Memes
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Biden
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."