Politics jokes
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.