Politics

Politics jokes

Texas

Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.

Hairline

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

President

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Twin Towers

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

History

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

Mom

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Prison

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Guy

Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.

People

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

Terrorist

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.