Pirate jokes
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow