Pirate jokes

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?

At a second-hand store.

What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?

Captain Rhyme.

Why are pirates named pirates?

Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Why did the pirate go to the gym?

To improve his booty strength!

If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”

Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.

And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like

Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.