Captain Hook jokes
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."