Pirate jokes
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.
And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!