Nautical jokes
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
des get back on DND beyond
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"