Pickup jokes
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.