Pickup jokes

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’

It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.

You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.

Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.

What was the computer's best pickup line?

Nice bits!

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.