Pickup jokes
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.