Microsoft

Microsoft Jokes

Stephen Hawking

The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.

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  • Bill Gates

    Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

    Programmer

    How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

    Word

    Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

    Memes

    Word

    To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

    Computer

    A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

    Bill Gates

    Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

    Boss

    Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

    Me: I Excel at it.

    Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

    Me: Word.

    Covid

    It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

    None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

    Fart

    Why should you never fart in an Apple store?

    Because they have no Windows!

    Reboot

    I heard Microsoft got charged, why?

    They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.