Pickup jokes
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
Why do they call me a firefighter? Because I find them hot, and I leave them wet!
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.
Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.