Pickup jokes
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.