*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone"
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I want your weight not your phone number
why cant orphan use a phone? because they dont have a home screan
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale the doctor said I want your weight and not phone number
As a son I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CCD. It was on speaker so me and mom hear both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
For a present on christmas i gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button
when hotline bling i only need one thing
I said to the emo girl she gets jealous every time her phone dies.
Warning! Cringe Alert! What happens when you leave your phone at jail? It becomes a cell-phone.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you Me: At least I have a brain unlike you Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella? Bully: How would you know that? Me: Because she told me herself Bully: How exactly? Me: She's on the phone right now Phone: *High pitched animal noises* Me: Told you so
i once called a depressed guy why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone (im not englishs so i could've talked bad)
I saw this boy named phone he said where would he live I said an orphinage
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask. Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
Ring Ring Hi I've been needing to call you your hairline has been found by dora after 25 years
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale the scale said I’m trying to get your weight not your phone number
I get jealous when my phone dies
