I said to the emo girl she gets jealous every time her phone dies.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale the scale said Iām trying to get your weight not your phone number
I get jealous when my phone dies.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Orphans don't have phones because the home button doesn't work.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
