A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
