Improvised Fruit Ninja

Alright, listen up, you little genius. You think improvising is just a fun word for "trying stuff"? No, it's when you want to play Fruit Ninja so bad, and you're all like, "Oh, I know! I'll just use a real knife and a real fruit!". You’re a true master of *not* thinking this through, a regular MacGyver in all the wrong ways. Congratulations, you've turned a game into a dangerous act. Do you want a bandaid? Maybe a helmet for your brain?