It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car
Me:911 I just killed someone Cops:Cool we will not come Me:Why Cops:Don't admit a crime. Phones:*Bang Bang* Me:Well that was 2 crimes done.
My Grandma as any other she got a APPLE IPHONE 12 but a we all know we get dumb and so we buy a phone my grandma did not even know how to use it she even said How do i go on google i told her YOU CANT!My grandma was yeah right how do i do it. Comment down below does you grandma do this?
I just got off the phone with kristen stewart yesterday she said I was invited to her cookout this Friday i said I'll come by and bring some drinks like wine beer and liquor so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
I was dying when i called my sister and she said "Hi this is pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic your loss our sauce how may i help you today."
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
what do kids play when they can't play with a phone ? bored games
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
the coffee was getting mugged so it called 911
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!
A blonde walks into the Doctors office. She tells the Doctor, " My boyfriend has dandruff". The Doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the Doctors phone rings. He answers, its the Blonde. The Doctor asks how he can help her. " Well Doctor, I understand head, but how do you hove shoulders?"...........
Why did the orphan kid was bad a school cause he wanted a phone call home
The next time you get a sack call pick up the phone and say “welcome to Pete’s pizzeria and abortion clinic your loss is next weeks sauce how may we help you
Why did an orphan kill ET To phone home
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
*sans*:why was the skeleton depressed? because frisk keeps reseting and it resets when he lost his phone
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".
