My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
