Personal jokes
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.