Personal jokes
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
WAITTTTTTT
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.