Personal jokes
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Memes
Person: Why? You: No.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.