Personal jokes
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?
Person 2: Andrew?
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.