Personal

Personal jokes

Death

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

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  • Life

    I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

    Cat

    Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

    A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

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  • Scan

    What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

    The depressed person can scan themself.

    Memes

    Tree

    It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.

    Most foresters have a wooden personality.

    Mat

    What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.

    Man

    Yo man, stand up.

    *short person stands*

    No, seriously man, stand up!

    Site

    Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

    America

    Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

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  • Bout

    Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

    Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.

    IQ

    What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

    The average IQ increases in both places.

    Study

    Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

    Mother

    Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.