What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
