Personal jokes
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
PERSON: I need to go so bad! TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.