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Personal jokes

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

Roast

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Blind

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

Blind

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.

"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.

The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.

"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."

Down Syndrome

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Indian

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?

Because a black person was approaching.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.