Personal jokes
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
What do you call a talentless Korean person? Us Lee Less!
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"