Personal jokes

A German, a Japanese, and a Chinese person meet for a diving competition.

The German can stay underwater for 3 minutes, the Japanese for 30 minutes, and the Chinese for 3 years. The German and the Japanese return first. Finally, the Chinese person comes back up. The Chinese person says: "De chinai gar ne dum, de yo bot rum farin antin met dam!"

What is a black person's least favorite word game?

Hangman.

Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?

It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.

What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?

He didn't open it yet.

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.

What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.