Personal

Personal Jokes

Partner

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

Funeral

What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?

The pose!

Physicist

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

Male

Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?

Because a black person was approaching.

Flashlight

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

Slang

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Horse

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Trump

Trump should be grateful for DEI.

How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

Fruit

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

State

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

Prank

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

Sister

I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.

He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!

Road

Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.

Racism

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

Background

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Firefighter

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?