What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A kinder surprise
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up, I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
what turns red, blue then white? the last person that I'd strangle
What's a depressed persons favourite drink
Depresso espresso
Nah just kidding it's bleach
What's a suicidal person's favorite game? Hangman
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
why did the depressed person cross the road.
to get ran over.
If a person shoot's a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*
Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?
my friend: Chunky dunks
What does a crippled person's legs and the twin towers have in common, they both went down and never came back up
