Perception jokes
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."