Perception jokes

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

What is blue but smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

Dark humor is like water.

Not everybody gets it.

What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?

She can't identify you.

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

What is a blind person's favorite color?

Black.

Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.