Perception jokes

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Who is the blindest person in the world?

Your hairline is back, people say. "Look at this dude."

If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.

Wanna hear a joke?

Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.

A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.

"It's a purple face!" says Yellow Face.

"Oh! Racist!" says Purple Face.

Why can't blind people eat fish? Because it's sea food.

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.