Perception jokes
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Ted stinks!
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?