Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world? Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: "he ain't appearing" me: "sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won't appear for me" *the kid laughs"
moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃
I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
Water, tastes that one tap in school:
A tier water at 3 am.
S tier.
12 pm water f tier.
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
