Perception jokes
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."