Perception jokes
You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?
Neither did she.