Perception jokes
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Why did the GG Miller say to the loser?
"This is a nice reflection!"
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.