Perception jokes

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

I thought I saw Jojo Siwa... no wait, it's your hairline.

Want to hear the worst joke ever? Then look in a mirror.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.

"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."

Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?

She didn't see anything wrong with it.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 32,” is the reply.

“Nope! I’m exactly 50,” the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, “I’d guess about 29.” The woman replies with a big smile, “Nope, I’m 50.”

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The clerk responds, “Oh, I’d say 30.”

Again she proudly responds, “I’m 50, but thank you!”

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, “Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, “What the hell, go ahead.”

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, “Okay, okay... How old am I?”

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, “Madam, you are 50.”

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, “That was incredible, how could you tell?”

“I was behind you at McDonalds’."