Perception jokes

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

An autistic man walks into a bra.

What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Turns out Christopher was adopted.

If we can't see air, can fish see water?

Why could the blind man not see?

Answer: Because he is blind.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

Bully: You're a loser and fat.

Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...