Perception jokes
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Ted stinks!
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."