Perception jokes

You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

You wanna see a joke? Look in a mirror.

"It's a purple face!" says Yellow Face.

"Oh! Racist!" says Purple Face.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?

Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?

Wife: You have good eyesight.

The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.

This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like? Go look in the mirror.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

If we can't see air, can fish see water?

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.