Perception jokes
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Memes
Should I tell him about the suspicious black guy under him?
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.