Perception jokes
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
We don't read backwards.
You're so ugly your mirror shattered.
Good being
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Want another joke? Look in the mirror.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.