Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
My friend made this joke (so Iβm going steal it). Iβm surrounded by fat people, oh wait... itβs just one.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, sheβs back in bed.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck π
βI turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.β
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
