Perception jokes
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.