Perception jokes
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."