Perception jokes
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.