Perception jokes

Gwen is a 40-year-old man, I think.

Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"

Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"

Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"

Grandma: "Exactly."

What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.

Your reflection.

A blind person walks into a bar.

Because they can’t see where they are going.

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Why does everyone call me racist?

My shadow is black.

What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?

The sea.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!