Perception jokes

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

We don't read backwards.

Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.

I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"