Perception jokes

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."