People jokes
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
People say I should be proud of my autism, but truth be told, I'm only in it for the help in class.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.