People jokes
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.