Millionaire jokes

How do women make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire.

What do you call a Chinese millionaire?

Cha ching.

A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

What is the richest kind of air?

A millionaire.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.