People jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
I only trust people that like big butts... they cannot lie.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Retards.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
I love gay people. UwU
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!