People jokes

People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?

A seizure salad.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

What do you call people from Paris?

Parasites.

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.