People jokes

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

Why can't people in Africa have medicine?

Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

What do cannibals read?

People.

Digest Readers.