People

People jokes

Pilot

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

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  • Mum

    Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!

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  • Child

    A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

    The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

    Abortion

    I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

    Memes

    Dream

    One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

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  • Knife

    When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

    Titanic

    People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!

    Model

    Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

    Club

    Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

    Fight

    How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

    Weapon

    What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?

    A rainbow.

    Jesus Christ

    Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

    A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

    Grandma

    I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

    Divorce

    Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

    They’re just two weeks to quit.

    Reaction

    People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

    Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

    Antarctica

    Pickup line for gay people:

    Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.