People jokes
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Memes
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”