People jokes
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.