People jokes

Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?

Because he punched dumbos like you people!

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?

Tower 1...

What do you call a mom that is yours?

Your mom!

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

Girls with the name Beoni are white.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.