I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.
God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
Girls with the name Beoni are white.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
