People jokes
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Memes
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
Why do people call priests "Father"?
Because it’s too suspicious to call them "Daddy."
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.