People jokes

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

Why do people never kick their own balls?

Because they might lose one!

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?

What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?

White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

What kind of fish do people eat?

Deep-fried fish.

People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.

Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?

The color black.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

White people be like, "Less bomb Ukraines hospitals and schools!"

Hahaha, dumb white people!