People jokes
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
What's 1 + 1? For some people, it's 1 #unibrow.
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.