People jokes
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People 😂
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,
one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.
Four big guys.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
What made people mad?
Planes in Fortnite Battle Royale!
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)