Etiquette jokes
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.
When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!