Etiquette jokes
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Why are french fries rude?
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.