People jokes

There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.

Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?

He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.

People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.

What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?

A sex-a-phone.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.

Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?

Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!

We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.

Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?

Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Why do people eat food?

Coz it tastes good lol.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?

People want donuts.

What do people with cancer always want to watch?

"Finding Chemo."

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?

Fat people jokes.

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.