People jokes

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.

Hey, who thinks Gwen is a dummy, so is Jaden and Kenya!

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.

I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?

Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!

Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

There was a guy called John.

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?

Very little.

My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.

Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?

One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.

The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."

"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.

"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.

Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.