People jokes
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
What do you call a bunch of Black people in the river?
A black current...
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!