*in the hospital* paralyzed kid : I'm out *walks out the room* blind kid : you can walk?! mute kid : you can see?! deaf kid : you can talk?! doctor : wut the f(beep)k
How does a woman scare a gynecologist
By becoming ventriloquist
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the materinity ward was put on lockdown
DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species. I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger."
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!!!"
Today I went to the doctor for a test and he said I have 10 months to live. So later that day I stabbed him to death & the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
My doctor called me a "psychopath". HOW DARE HE!?! HE'LL PAY FOR THIS!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
What did the bird to the hospital for? For tweetment!
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live - the doctor replied tu-more
when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating." The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents
