I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Own Jokes
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
