Own jokes
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.