Own jokes
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
My Premier is so fat she has her own gravitational pull.
Your own life, hah!
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!
Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.
Hint: Pictures of woman.
Btw, for men only!
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
You're more depressing than your own abortion video.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.