Otherness jokes
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.