One jokes
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.
Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.
Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."
Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.
He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Once a knight was called a "kuhnigitt," that's because he was one!
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Why can't orphans be gay?
There's no one to call "daddy."
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 barstool?
Turn it upside down and shove a leg up each of their asses.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!
Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.