One jokes

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?

One can feed a family.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

What do you call a house with no one living inside?

An orphan house.

Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

Why do orphans have no home?

Because they didn't have a family to give them one.

If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.