One jokes
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
Yo mama's so fat, people think she only has one side!
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.