One jokes
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
Crit especially if you are a rouge
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.