One jokes
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚