One Jokes

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.

Unless you force them the point.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

Why did the priest buy a clown suit?

Because the old one had blood all over it.

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.

I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.